Who's Sleeping with Who?

Sometimes I feel like I live in a bubble... Because in my house, in my circles, we not only believe in equality, justice, giving those weaker than us a voice, but also we fight for what we believe in!

That being said, I jumped in on a post of a friend of mine Mr. Turner, where it's big news of the day about Jason Collins being the first professional ball player to come out as gay.

What is all the fuss? I get that this has never been done before, however, does that affect how good he is as a ball player? Does this make him less of a man? Resoundingly NO!

My hope is to help shift the world to a place where these things no longer matter. My hope is to see humanity evolve to a place where it doesn't matter what people do in their own bedrooms. My hope is also where people are so devoted to making the world a better place that they judge people by the content of their character before any other "label" that they may inherit or wear.

Please folks - we are all equal whether "some people" want to believe it or not. Fight for those who need a voice. Fight for your rights.... Not a vicious fight, but one where you let no one keep you separated from true, simple, priceless (and FREE) happiness.

One Love to all who read this :)

What Do You Do When The World Knocks You Down?

Yesterday was one of those days that started out where I felt I could take on the world!!!... And then I got tons of rejection and had major fails (especially with technology!).

No big deal. Meditate, shake it off, and start with a clean slate again the next day...

Yeah right... 

I woke up this morning fresh, wide eyed and bushy tailed, only to have another day filled with MORE rejection and failures, so I had a moment when I started to question why I was doing all this healthy living stuff for, and why I was putting myself out there as hard as I could!  I did the only thing I could think of doing...

Call In My SHEroes :) :) :) 

Yep! Asked my wonderful inspirational voices of wisdom, Chivon John, Karlyn Percil, and Bee Quammie! If you don't know who these ladies are, you gotta check them out. Collectively, we are all committed to helping people be their best selves while keeping things real!

These ladies are my reminder that we can only succeed when we work together, when we learn to be strong, and also when we make sure we get back up when we get knocked down! I'm so blessed that when I have these moments, my SHEroes give me love so I really can get back up renewed, strengthened and ready to take on the world all over again!

Do you have SHEroes and HEroes to reach out to? If not, what is the one step you can take today to find those who can be your support, and who you can support in return?

When Does a Touch mean Everything?

There are studies that show babies develop stronger immune systems when they are held and cradled immediately following birth.

So why do we think that changes as we grow older?

It really does hurt my heart to know that our society has perverted the idea of touch so much, that we don't know what good, pure, loving touch is anymore. I'm going to highlight some types of touch that are loving, show kindness, and help people heal:

• A heart-felt hug - I'm not talking about the kind where you're afraid to touch people in the process, or you're truly afraid to let people feel your skin. I'm talking about the ones where your spirit wraps the receiver of that hug. When you give a hug out of pure love, the person may not be able to articulate the feeling, but the really do feel it. And, it heals the soul in the process.


• Hold a face in admiration - look at the one you dearly love, and be in awe of their beauty and presence. Exchange no words, and just honour their presence. 


• Reach out and touch somebody's hand - I couldn't help myself but think of this hymn I grew up singing. In the case where you're unsure of how a hug or face-hold would be received, simply holding someone's hand and exchanging energy, may be all a person needs to know they are listened to and appreciated.  

There are so many other ways in which we can show somebody we care, show them that they matter to us, and plain out give a damn about others... In a world where it seems like those small gestures have been forgotten, I'd like to see them brought back.

To touch is human. To touch with love, care, and acknowledgment of people is divine.

Landing a Man?

I still hear so many ladies out there talking about "I can't land a man". There are MILLIONS of great single men still out there in this world.

I'm going to get real and tell you why you're not meeting men of substance:

• Your checklist - must have this, can't have that... PEOPLE AREN'T PRODUCTS! Finding an awesome man isn't like going shopping for a car! People change, grow, morph. AND people aren't perfect! We all have idiosyncrasies and faults. Let go of the checklist, and find yourself first, because when you know and trust yourself, you can allow great people into your life, as they are. 


• Great men are found, not made! - Great men are already great! If you're finding yourself constantly having to "fix" a man into being a good one, then ask yourself "Does my $h!t stink?". If the answer is YES (and it always will be), then who are you to decide what GOOD is?! Maybe he's just not a good fit for you, but he is absolutely perfect for someone else. Go find someone else! 

and on that note, since we're talking about finding:

• OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! Great men are EVERYWHERE! Maybe he's not tall, dark and handsome, or making 5 million a year... But I bet you that short, stalky and kind-hearted man would love you 'til the cows come home! Stop rejecting a man just because he's not someone else's standard of beauty! If you find him handsome, and love his company, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks of him?!!! Sorry ladies, even the judgement of your best girlfriends doesn't matter here... :)

If you missed my post about the bad boyfriend poker thing, you can see that I feel media helps to perpetuate BOTH the low self-esteem of women, AND the emotionally constipated behaviors of men. It won't change until WE stop buying in to this nonsense.

Who's with me? Would love your comments and feedback on this one. :)

Want More Money?

For those of you who may have missed it, we are now amidst a shifting of the planet.

The old way? Profit above ALL else!

The New Way:

People - Planet - Profit

What this means is that before you can ask the question "How can I make more money?" you need to ask yourself the following questions:

• How can I be of service? - the truth of the matter is that when you provide help to people with no expectation of anything in return, they want to help you in return. Not only do you become known as the generous one, but it also just feels so damn good to be nice!


• Am I harming or helping? - really think about this one... that extra trip to the mall, that extra fast food stop, that extra hour of tv. Think long term benefit, not short term affect. I'm sure that when you think about this question, you'll see that extra stuff doesn't help anyone, especially not you... it makes life way more complicated than it really is. And it's an easy way to lose your hard-earned money.


• What can I get and GIVE for free? - Smiles. Hugs, Handshakes, kind words. All of these things are always in abundance, if you choose them. These things are the true REAL currency of the world. And if you master how to give and receive these, the paper kind always comes next.

The one thing I always tell my clients to remember is that mastering these three key things does force you to get out there, stand out, and be around folks all the time... How else can the people find you who need you?!

As you're reading my blog, know that I write about these things because they work for me! And if these things can work for me, they can work for anybody :).

What are you going to give with abundance today?

To Control or Not To Control?

Sometimes we all get stuck thinking that our life works a certain way, or is supposed to be a certain way... I always ask my people one question when they find that life throws them a curve ball :

How's that working for you?

I LOVE using this question because it's the only one that I've found pulls people out of the auto-pilot of living according to their "shoulds-coulds-woulds" and have them see what really is.

Here are some things to remember, the next time you start to think your life is a sham:

• Control of your life is only an illusion - people who think they always have it together are fooling themselves. God, Allah, The Universe, or whatever entity you spiritually connect with is the only one who knows it all, or could even grasp it all enough to have true control. Remember that your life is a gift and no One owes you a thing!


• Choose your THOUGHTS - this is the only thing that WE DO have control of. Whatever life brings us, we can choose whether we view that thing as a blessing or a curse. 


• Like Attracts Like - ever wonder why happy people always hang out together? One happy person usually doesn't have to ask the other person WHY they're happy - they just GET it. 

I used to wonder why people made life so complicated... And then I realized that complications like control, drama, issues, allow people to keep buying things to compensate for the lack of love, happiness, freedom and joy in their lives.

I've been shown my purpose here on earth - it's to help people start breaking away the shackles of life that keep you from being who you TRULY are - beings of love and light.
 What chains are YOU holding on to?

Always the Nice Girl?

As I'm recovering from my cold, and reflecting on my life in general, I realize that there's one theme that keeps replaying over and over:

Why am I always labelled as the good "little" girl?

And boy, have I really hammed it up and played into that role. I've over-committed, bitten of WAY more than I can chew, and done soooooo many things that I've had no desire to do in the first place.

Can you relate?

 If you can't, then maybe you're a corpse somewhere playing to be alive... lol... totally teasing :). 

But on a real note, this reflection has allowed me to come up with some really great things that I'm now committing to use, practice and most importantly , doing my best to master right now and in the future. I cannot go back and change the past, so I'm starting from right here:

I commit to:

• Saying NO more often - especially for those things in life that my gut is telling me to say no to... I'm going to STOP doing things I'm supposed to, and having fear of disappointing people. PERIOD.


• STOP overbooking myself - as much as I love to be busy, having 4 weeks with no break is too much for my own body to withstand. AND, I can't be at my best when I'm tired.


• Be honest about my friendships - this was a hard one for me to come to terms with... For people who I support wholeheartedly, I actually LOVE being a part of their lives and events. For people who I cannot relate to - their lifestyle, their values, their character - I really and truly have no interest in being around. It's not to be mean, it's a hardcore fact. Therefore, I am going to CHOOSE to be FULLY  THERE for those for whom I share a reciprocal relationship with - I help them, and they help me to grow as a person.


• Cutting myself some slack when I fail - yes, we all do it. We are each our own worst critic. We cannot change the past, and we CHOOSE what baggage we carry around... I CHOOSE NO BAGGAGE. I will love and accept myself when I fail, and re-commit to being successful, and cleaning up the messes that I make.  

No one, including me, said that this work of living a light and freedom-filled life was easy. However, I do promise you that it becomes a fun, fulfilling and wonderful journey... I'm tingling with the freedom that comes from writing this post and getting this all out of my system!

Who's with me? :)

Should Relationships Be Hard Work?

In society we've gotten used to thinking of a relationship being "hard work".

If a relationship involves daily arguing, fighting, especially over minor, insignificant things, is it really worth it?

I'm going to give you another possibility:

A loving, authentic relationship can really be like water; Consistently changing, and nourishing to the mind, body and soul. 

I have been in a loving partnership for over two and a half years, and I can tell you, that it certainly does not feel like work. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't mean we never fight... It just means that when we're feeling discomfort, we don't hide - we get straight to the root of the problem and solve it!!! In the heat of those arguments, the blood gets pumping, and it gets really scary. However, we both know that being authentic, and truthful about what's really happening is the only way to keep our relationship healthy and happy. 

Please don't buy into the stereotypes that tell you that all relationships are hard work. Choose a partner who helps you grow, who you can help to grow, who you truly enjoy the company of, who can make you laugh, who can make you cry tears of joy... And drink in that nourishing soul food :).

If you can relate, or if you can't - please comment! The only way we can change how the world runs is if we can learn to share our stories :). 

Me?!..... Beautiful?!!!!

I have this quirky thing I do, in that I go up to random strangers and tell them how beautiful they are.

The usual response is:

{While looking around to see if I'm really talking to them}"You're talking to me?!!!"

YES, I'm talking to YOU!

Do you know how truly outstanding and beautiful you are? 

All the people I stop aren't "beautiful" in the classical, standard sense. They usually have very distinct features, come in all sizes and shapes, and its true that when I stop them, they truly don't hear compliments enough.

When's the last time you stopped someone to appreciate their beauty? Without expecting anything in return; this is not an excuse to pick someone up, but you acknowledging someone purely for their existence on the planet.

I challenge you to make someone else's day, purely for knowing that it feels good to see someone else smile. 

Please feel free to share your stories, as I love to hear what happens when people do this! 

I am Awesome... Here's Why :

Thank you Chivon for writing an article that gives me a chance to slow down in the middle of the day and think of why I love myself so much. Here we go:

I am Awesome Because:

1.  I love people unconditionally, without judgement, and all the awesomeness that is them... ALL people!

2. I am a walking encyclopedia for most genre's of music (with the exception of house) - country, r&b, metal, classical, jazz, folk, pop... I gotcha covered baby!

3. I am the Queen of Meeting New People - on the subway, bus, walking anywhere along the street, I have no fears about walking up to a random stranger and saying "Hello", "You're absolutely beautiful", or "You have amazing style!". Love the unexpected reactions too, they get me high :).

4. I'm not afraid to try new things - going to a country where english isn't the first language, going to networking events solo, or learning sign language. All pretty hard, but how can I learn to master things without trying them first?

5. I treat my friends like family - why shouldn't the people who support me unconditionally, listen to me when I whine, help me get through rough and traumatic times, be treated like my brothers and sisters?! Shout-out here to Nawar, Chivon, Karlyn, Bobby, Ryan, Bas, Sophie and Renee here :).

6. I have learned how to say "I'm Sorry"... and mean it! - no one is perfect, especially not me. If I hurt someone in a relationship I value, I do my best to clean it up, admit I was an idiot, and allow the person respond, without attachment to whether they accept it or not. I am super-blessed; in nearly all cases, my friends accept, and our relationship deepens even further... Have I said it enough already that my friends ROCK?!!!

7. I am natural - from not having conventional chemical cleaners in my house for over 8 years now, to rockin' my 'fro every day, to only wearing lip gloss and lip liner (all natural stuff courtesy of Pure Anada btw) daily... Whatcha see is whatcha get :).

8. I am SCOTIAN!!! - gotta give a shout-out to my Home Province. I'm sure that part of the reason I'm so awesome is because I was raised in Halifax - a city that feels like a small town. We love, we laugh, we love drama (come on, if you're Scotian, you KNOW how much everyone is up in your bizness!!! lol). The last one is the only thing I had to let go of when I moved to Toronto... I've kept the rest :).

9. I master things, so that I can teach them to others -  I believe that experiential learning is the key to moving our planet into its new age and the solution to most of the problems we have now... So how can I teach others how to love themselves and love others if I haven't mastered the art myself? I teach so that I can consistently practice the art of living joyfully myself.

10. I am beautiful, inside AND out - this was the hardest point for me to get to, because for years I thought I was as ugly and non-descript as the pavement itself... However, after the years of work I did on myself, and letting go of the crap around me and in my life, I now see that I'm unbelievably, amazingly gorgeous. Gonna give myself a big hug and then a High Five!!! :).

If you create your own list, please post the link to it below, so I can share it throughout my network, and so others reading this post can see it too... We need more love and light in this world, so it would be my pleasure to spread yours around too!!! Don't be afraid to share your own awesomeness with the world!

Waking up from the Numbness?

Come on.... We've all been there. Not wanting to get out of bed. Having people talking to you, and you're not even mentally in the room. Sleepwalking through life and thinking "There's GOT to be more than this!".

Been there, bought that t-shirt.

Remember the last time you took a vacation? Let's say you were sitting on a sunny beach, feeling every last grain of sand as it went between your toes. Hearing the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach. Watching the colour of the sky, the water, the sand, seeing others walking along the beach too... Isn't that scene so vivid for you? Wasn't it magnificent? 

Well here is where I teach you some simple tips that help you to feel like that all day, every day, and wake back up to ALL of the life that's around you:

•  Be aware of your awareness - This might be a funny statement, but sometimes with all the media and stuff we're bombarded with each day, we forgot what life really is : experiencing our 5 senses REAL TIME. Begin to notice the sky again... The sound of children as you're going to work. Stop to feel the softness of the petals of flowers. Heck, if it helps, keep a bowl of sand near your workspace for when you start to feel that numbness again! The whole goal of you being aware of how your body feels is to be aware of your feelings. It takes practice to be always in a state of awareness, but it helps to get the body to tingle all over again (yes, we should ALWAYS be tingling! :) ). 


• Appreciate the small and free things - Yesterday, the kindness of two complete strangers made my day! One held a door open for me. The other told me I had awesome hair. These two things alone made my entire day! What things that people do for you out of kindness, without expectation that you may be overlooking? Heighten your awareness to moments like these.


• SMILE!!! - For no reason at all... Just because you're blessed with LIFE! Think about it; The Universe, God, or whatever/whoever you credit for giving you life, is never obligated to give you LIFE. For that reason, and that reason alone, we have the opportunity to be thankful to get a chance to experience all the wonderful things listed above, and all the ones that YOU can think of right now!

Each and every single person born in the past, present and future is born to be an amazing treasure to this planet. Somewhere along the way, we all began to believe the lies media, television, toxic people, exes, and the other sources tell us about how wrong, bad, evil and mean, and worthless we are.

I'm on a journey to dispell all these lies!

Each of us is born whole, complete, perfect and worthy of love. Free from judgement. I teach people how to take back this power. And most of it, I do for free, because I LOVE MY LIFE and want as many people as possible to love theirs as well. 

You willing to fight for your life?

Capsule #4: Dumbing Yourself Down?

Q: I feel like I "dumb myself down" so I don't outshine my partner. What should I do?


A's:

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay):

How high will you fly in Life is determined by the wings of those you surround yourself with.

It all comes down to your standards and what are you willing to settle yourself for.

Instead of "dumbing yourself down" why don't you "lead them up"?

Above all else ask: what would LOVE do?


From Tash: You should never have to lower yourself to anyone else's standards. It means you lack self-love which demands that you always give yourself and others the best!

Be honest with your partner about how you're feeling, as they may not realize what's happening.

YOU make the choice to surround yourself with people who help you rise, and you help them to rise as well. If you can't provide value to others (which you can't if you're lowering your own standards), or others can't provide value to you, how are you ever going to be your best selves?

The Keys to Being Hot

I'm asked quite often how I got to be so cute... And then my usual response is "if you only knew how much I used to think I was $h!tty it would blow your mind".

HOWEVER,

The road to getting there was hard, I shed litres of tears, and had years of battles with my own self-doubt.

IT WAS SOOO WORTH IT!

I'll share with you some of my very simple (and did I mention FREE or affordable) rules that I used to literally turn back the hands of time for my physical self-beauty, and make my self-confidence literally unshakeable (well, some hours of shaking happen here and there, but that's a part of life!) confidence:

• Love Yourself Unconditionally - That's right, love the bumps, scars, cellulite, bad hair days, whatever makes you human. Until YOU accept yourself fully, how can anyone else?!
• Tell Yourself How Awesome You Are - Yes, I tell myself every single morning that I'm the bomb! lol... It's funny and strange at first, but boy oh boy, love then becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy to all the other areas of your life too :). 
• Don't Judge Lest You Be Judged Too - Would you want anyone sizing you up, trying to figure out if you're "worth it"? How about giving people room to be themselves. When people are allowed to be themselves and feel comfortable being who they truly are around you, miracles happen - for them AND for you!
• Feed Yourself the Good Stuff - Read your labels on what you eat... Better yet, eat mainly things that don't need to be packaged - fresh fruits and vegetables! If you can't pronounce it, don't wear it on your skin or put it in your body. Spend a few extra dollars on local and organic so that you save thousands in future medical costs.  

And most of all, don't seek approval from the outside world. Learn to be who you authentically are, as is. Me? I LOVE country music, love being a Linux girl, will stand up for the underdog, and continue to challenge people who make others feel bad... No excuses, no pity-parties, and standing true to my overall purpose on this planet. I'm here to help people HEAL themselves, and also to help HEAL the planet. Because I'm as certain of this purpose as the air that I breathe, I will allow no one to stop me from being who I was born to be.

That's what makes me hot. Confidence is super-sexy.

Remember that all of us - everyone past, present or future - crave two main things in life; love and acknowledgement. When you are a stand in your life for those two things, what can stand in your way?! If you know of some things that prevent this, feel free to comment, so we can dissolve those mountains :). 

Be Your Own SuperHero (or SuperSHEro)

How important is it to believe in yourself? It's EVERYTHING!!! :)

No Such Thing as Coincidences (Specially 4 Your Weekend!)

This is what happens when you become high.... ON LIFE!!!! lol :)

Cat Fight Central... NOT! :)

There is this HUGE misconception by men in general that the only way that women know how to be is catty, jealous, and inconsiderate to one another... Also, we fight over men, territory, jobs, work, and just about everything else in life.

NEWS FLASH:

That was the old way... the new way is that we strong women love ourselves first, and this allows us to love other women like true sisters. I know this is true because you can watch Chivon, Karlyn, Candice, Ingrid, and Gwen and countless others of us come out each day and support one another fully. With love, with confidence, and knowing that supporting their beauty only adds to the continuous growth of ourselves!

So this is a quick plea to stop buying into the false images of women. Do not continue to watch "The Bachelor" and believe the lie that all women cat fight, think of themselves only, and are extremely shallow. There are those of us who are open, honest, vulnerable, full of integrity, and (this is the kicker) have taught ourselves not to gossip!!! Too unbelievable? Watch an episode of our show, Hot N Holistic and see for yourself. :)

Why Do We Always Fight?

I have many of my clients who tell me they're always arguing with their partner... They are usually surprised that there are only a few key reasons why this happens. I can trace every incident back to one of these:

• Trying to Fix Someone - many arguments (like the whole toilet seat thing which I will never understand) usually comes from being attached to someone being a certain way... When they don't live up to your expectation, you feel the need to make them be something that you like. Learn to accept people for how they naturally are. It's ok to make suggestions, or point things out that can make them a better person. However, it is not up to us to force that  to happen. The less pressure we give them, the more likely they'll be able to see things for how they are. 


• Turning OUR issues into THEIR issues - We are all mirrors for each other. Sometimes what we see in others is something that we dislike in ourselves. Take a look at what that item is, and see what your true relationship is to that problem. You might just see that the problem is yours, not theirs... Only then, can you find your own solutions to solve things.


• Expectations - No one is perfect. We cannot expect anyone to always be great, happy, perky, and wonderful all the time! All we can do is give  them the space to be authentically who they are, support them, be there for them, and show them love and kindness... The same things we need to always show ourself too! 


• Forgetting What's REALLY Important - is it SO important that we always be right? Is forgetting to do the dishes SO meaningful and significant to our self growth that we are willing spend valuable energy arguing over it for hours? Life is too short to always be fighting small, trivial battles, isn't it?
 

When you feel yourself about to get into an argument - check yourself first! Step back, breathe and ask yourself "Is putting my valuable energy into this worth it?" Or would you rather spend the same amount of energy seeing the good in your partner, or yourself?

With many poor examples of healthy relationships available in the media for what a true, amazing, vibrant one looks like, remember that it is not the only reality. My reality is one where authentic, loving, accepting relationships exist... So that seems to be what I get. I write of that which I see, have, and cultivate myself.

What are you going to choose?

Capsule #3: How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

Q: I want to start meeting people to date. How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

A's:

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay): My experience: stop looking for one. As soon as I decided that I didn't want to date any women, I met the LOVE of my Life! I didn't noticed at the time but after 12 years together, I can say that it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!

Who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor? :D


From Ryan Coelho (#GameOn): Do what you love and you'll meet people you love! 

From Tash:  Don't be afraid to stop intriguing people on the street (ANYWHERE) and pay them a compliment. Don't be afraid of rejection either. You need no's to make your way towards a yes. Go to places where people who share your interests are. Mostly, stop looking for a partner and start learning how to love yourself. When you truly love yourself, the people who will love you for who you are miraculously find you!

Where are All the Good Single People?

Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I'm always doing my best to make sure that my single friends meet each other... Not necessarily to become a couple, but to know that single amazing people DO exist!!! For those of you still waiting for that special someone, here are some SIMPLE and FREE tips to help you start meeting the great single folks!

• Compliment Strangers! - I do this all the time when I'm out with my single friends all the time, so they can see how its done. Approaching someone with a beautiful smile, great fashion sense, and giving them a compliment without expecting anything in return gives the other person have a great moment for their day and boosts your own confidence!


• Get Introduced to Friends of Friends - It is soooo true that great people hang in packs! Arrange for dinner parties and ask your friends (single or coupled) to bring some of their single friends along, and you do the same. 


• Social Media has Gems - I've met some of the most fantastic people online first before I met them in person! Do a search through Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook and any other social media network for people who have the same interests as you do. Strike up a convo in 140 characters or less, and before you know it you've got a new friend!

Lastly, and most importantly - complaining that there are no good people single people out there makes it a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your thoughts do form your life, so in order to have amazing people find you, you have to believe they exist!  I am blessed to call some of the most wonderful people I have ever met close friends, all because I knew I wanted to be surrounded by awesomeness... So that's exactly what the Universe delivered. Here's to believing, knowing and telling yourself that you deserve the very best! xoxo :)

Dose of Delicious - What is wealth?

I was reminded today by a dear friend of mine Sophie Douglass ( also my Sister, health guru, and fellow Natural Goddess!) that wealth is all those things that sometimes we consider cheap and free... And that wealth is truly a state of mind. I know I'm feeling dang wealthy today. Are you? :)

Sending Love and Hugs to all who view the video and/or read this post today and every day!