Landing a Man?

I still hear so many ladies out there talking about "I can't land a man". There are MILLIONS of great single men still out there in this world.

I'm going to get real and tell you why you're not meeting men of substance:

• Your checklist - must have this, can't have that... PEOPLE AREN'T PRODUCTS! Finding an awesome man isn't like going shopping for a car! People change, grow, morph. AND people aren't perfect! We all have idiosyncrasies and faults. Let go of the checklist, and find yourself first, because when you know and trust yourself, you can allow great people into your life, as they are. 


• Great men are found, not made! - Great men are already great! If you're finding yourself constantly having to "fix" a man into being a good one, then ask yourself "Does my $h!t stink?". If the answer is YES (and it always will be), then who are you to decide what GOOD is?! Maybe he's just not a good fit for you, but he is absolutely perfect for someone else. Go find someone else! 

and on that note, since we're talking about finding:

• OPEN YOUR EYES!!!! Great men are EVERYWHERE! Maybe he's not tall, dark and handsome, or making 5 million a year... But I bet you that short, stalky and kind-hearted man would love you 'til the cows come home! Stop rejecting a man just because he's not someone else's standard of beauty! If you find him handsome, and love his company, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks of him?!!! Sorry ladies, even the judgement of your best girlfriends doesn't matter here... :)

If you missed my post about the bad boyfriend poker thing, you can see that I feel media helps to perpetuate BOTH the low self-esteem of women, AND the emotionally constipated behaviors of men. It won't change until WE stop buying in to this nonsense.

Who's with me? Would love your comments and feedback on this one. :)

Should Relationships Be Hard Work?

In society we've gotten used to thinking of a relationship being "hard work".

If a relationship involves daily arguing, fighting, especially over minor, insignificant things, is it really worth it?

I'm going to give you another possibility:

A loving, authentic relationship can really be like water; Consistently changing, and nourishing to the mind, body and soul. 

I have been in a loving partnership for over two and a half years, and I can tell you, that it certainly does not feel like work. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't mean we never fight... It just means that when we're feeling discomfort, we don't hide - we get straight to the root of the problem and solve it!!! In the heat of those arguments, the blood gets pumping, and it gets really scary. However, we both know that being authentic, and truthful about what's really happening is the only way to keep our relationship healthy and happy. 

Please don't buy into the stereotypes that tell you that all relationships are hard work. Choose a partner who helps you grow, who you can help to grow, who you truly enjoy the company of, who can make you laugh, who can make you cry tears of joy... And drink in that nourishing soul food :).

If you can relate, or if you can't - please comment! The only way we can change how the world runs is if we can learn to share our stories :).