Rejection as a Blessing?

I had a dear friend teach me an invaluable lesson today.

Being that I'm a lifestyle cheerleader (aka wellness coach), I'm always on the lookout to help people. So today, when my friend came to me with an issue (they always feel as heaviness and sluggishness to my system), after a few minutes of me "coaching" he stopped me.

He told me that he stopped listening. AKA, I was being rejected. 

At first, I thought what most of us think in those moments. 

MAJOR FAIL.

Then God and The Universe had me come to my senses and learn the following lessons:

• Acknowledge the courage - first off, it's not easy to reject someone... EVER. It's also not easy to accept negative feedback with grace. For me to take it, and not go right into attack mode (which I have learned not to do), also takes courage to stop and listen. 


• Move on, in a LOVING way - as soon as I knew he wasn't listening, I realized two things - he was open to moving on, but I also wasn't the one to help! When I usually do my work, I do minimal talking, so for the simple fact that I was doing all the talking, he saw that my work wasn't working! That fact makes neither of us wrong. What I knew is that I wasn't the one to help him, and that there are probably some of my other coach friends who could reach him. 


• Pushing helps NO ONE - I have a purpose, and is to help those who need it, and who can get my work so that they heal. It helps reserve my energy to work with those who fit with me, and the same for him. No one is meant to properly serve everyone. So letting go of those who don't fit allows us to do our work with those who can be helped, and allows us to maximize our successes.


• End all things in gratitude - before the end of our conversation, there was a moment of silence. After which I gave my friend a sincere and heartfelt thank you. Were it not for this interaction, I would not have the lesson that will benefit and improve my work with others. I honour him for being the space through which I received this lesson.

These same steps can be use for any form of rejection we experience in the future (and I say we, as I hope you will try this method out). Whether it's a promotion, date, raise, contest, client, gig, partner, remembering these things from either side of the rejection - the giver or the receiver - can allow you to honour your integrity and leave a relationship in a better state than where it started.

If you try this out, please leave your comments for what the situation was, and the outcomes, so we all can increase our learning! :)

Should Relationships Be Hard Work?

In society we've gotten used to thinking of a relationship being "hard work".

If a relationship involves daily arguing, fighting, especially over minor, insignificant things, is it really worth it?

I'm going to give you another possibility:

A loving, authentic relationship can really be like water; Consistently changing, and nourishing to the mind, body and soul. 

I have been in a loving partnership for over two and a half years, and I can tell you, that it certainly does not feel like work. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't mean we never fight... It just means that when we're feeling discomfort, we don't hide - we get straight to the root of the problem and solve it!!! In the heat of those arguments, the blood gets pumping, and it gets really scary. However, we both know that being authentic, and truthful about what's really happening is the only way to keep our relationship healthy and happy. 

Please don't buy into the stereotypes that tell you that all relationships are hard work. Choose a partner who helps you grow, who you can help to grow, who you truly enjoy the company of, who can make you laugh, who can make you cry tears of joy... And drink in that nourishing soul food :).

If you can relate, or if you can't - please comment! The only way we can change how the world runs is if we can learn to share our stories :).