Mental Illness Isn't Rare... So Why Don't We Talk About It?

I'm writing this post because I know that Bell did a campaign last year talking about mental illness and depression... Then it seemed that as soon as the month was over, 

WHOOSH! MENTAL ILLNESS DISAPPEARED! 

Well, at least that's what it felt like to read most online sites. No one seems to want to talk about it anymore... Because it isn't "sexy". 

I'm hoping to shed light on what mental illness, or rather what I'd like to call mental wellness looks like in the everyday life.

Its when you know you have that "crazy" aunt or uncle that everyone says is "touched"... But you know that person as the fun aunt or uncle who speaks his/her mind and always brings joy to the house.

Its when all of a sudden, your sister or cousin goes through that bout of depression, and couldn't get up out of bed for three months on end, and had to take sick leave. And this was all "blamed" on a break-up or some other major traumatic event in one's life.

Or, in my example, it was me, not realizing that I was going through a "spell" (aka a crazy depressed period), until I looked back on my life at that time. I realized that none of the pictures I took showed me smiling, I'd aged by at least 20 years in only 1 year, and gained enough weight to make me resemble what I can only imagine would be myself in an alternate universe! 

Because I grew up in a family where mental illness was quite common, I knew that I had to really make sure my lifestyle allowed for me to always have my wits about me, and have a heightened level of awareness. 

Might you be lacking mental wellness? Keep in mind that it can be something as simple as depression or seasonal affective disorder. If you have read this and want to get well, here are a few simple things you can do : 

• DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE - Please reach out to someone you love and trust, who you can be real, open and honest with, and ask them to help you through what you're going through. I know if I had done so, it wouldn't have taken me so long to come back to life.

• Eat Healthy - Sometimes that sluggish feeling, or not feeling so well about ourselves is actually caused by chemical and neurological imbalances! All those toxins floating around in our body keeps our mental faculties from working properly. Eating balanced, healthy meals (you can always sign up to my free program to find great resources!) helps keep you positive, mentally well and stable, and doing whats best for you and those around you

• Find an expert and ask questions - Whether its someone trusted in your network that has helped other recover, or whether you get a referral from someone like me, never be afraid to ask questions. Fear of asking questions keeps people sick and suffering, and in pain. Folks like us who are all about helping people heal will always do our very best to make sure you get the help you need. 

I'm hoping that the more of my own personal stories about these "tough" subjects, the more others come out and speak about it. I have no more shame about this in my life. There also is no more lingering pain. I've forgiven myself for "falling into despair". Now this is my chance to help others, so that they know they are definitely not alone. 

What else can I give so I can help you heal from your pain? I'm all ears :).

When Does a Touch mean Everything?

There are studies that show babies develop stronger immune systems when they are held and cradled immediately following birth.

So why do we think that changes as we grow older?

It really does hurt my heart to know that our society has perverted the idea of touch so much, that we don't know what good, pure, loving touch is anymore. I'm going to highlight some types of touch that are loving, show kindness, and help people heal:

• A heart-felt hug - I'm not talking about the kind where you're afraid to touch people in the process, or you're truly afraid to let people feel your skin. I'm talking about the ones where your spirit wraps the receiver of that hug. When you give a hug out of pure love, the person may not be able to articulate the feeling, but the really do feel it. And, it heals the soul in the process.


• Hold a face in admiration - look at the one you dearly love, and be in awe of their beauty and presence. Exchange no words, and just honour their presence. 


• Reach out and touch somebody's hand - I couldn't help myself but think of this hymn I grew up singing. In the case where you're unsure of how a hug or face-hold would be received, simply holding someone's hand and exchanging energy, may be all a person needs to know they are listened to and appreciated.  

There are so many other ways in which we can show somebody we care, show them that they matter to us, and plain out give a damn about others... In a world where it seems like those small gestures have been forgotten, I'd like to see them brought back.

To touch is human. To touch with love, care, and acknowledgment of people is divine.

Be Like Water?

My homegirl and amazing personal trainer friend Trina and I always have a point of connection around the phrase

Be Like Water

 Here's my interpretation of what that means:

• Be open to change - water in rivers just flows... it doesn't ask where to go, it just goes... It doesn't ask "why is there a dam here?", it reorganizes itself accordingly.


• Be cleansing - water purifies the mind, body and spirit. When you interact with people, are you leaving them in a better state than how they were before they were with you? 


• Be strong or weak, whatever is needed - water can change its properties very easily. It can be fluid, when it needs to work its way around things. It can be cold as ice and hard as a rock, when it needs to change the environment around it. Or, it can be hot and steamy, and warm up an entire room.

When you let go of needing to be in control of everything that's happening in life; instead control how you think of, manage and deal with life, the entire world around you changes! And what happens when things change? New things happen. That's what life was meant for.

If you were to be like water, what would that look like for you?

The Power of Your Intentions

Be honest - sometimes we all feel like this....

Like we're a little kid, in a grown up world, and NOTHING in the world makes sense...

I felt like this even today, where my big bad goal of being on tv seemed to be taking FOREVER to reach, because I felt like there's these big hoops out there that I don't know how to jump through, nor want to.

And then I realized the power of my own thoughts. It's only difficult to attain my goal if I perceive it is! I got brought back to the fact that whether I think I can, or can't I'm probably right.

So here are my tips to help you remember the power of your own thoughts and words to help you bring you back to the original purpose and passions in your own life:

• STOP making EVERYTHING so significant!!! - when we view the accomplishing of a goal the end-all-and-be-all, the fun, the freedom, the playfulness of getting there ends. Have fun with what you're up to, and remember that the ultimate fun is in the journey, not the destination!


• Turn your goal into a GAME - this point is courtesy of my bro Ryan Coelho, who taught me that when I view achieving my goal as something truly fun, create a team that's working with me (like my Hot N Holistic Fab Girls!), and stop worrying about whether I achieve the actual goal or not, and do my best to just go for it, the entire process is AMAZING.


• Ask for help!!! - yes, y'all may have seen my previous post about the art of asking. Many people forget that people help people achieve their goals. If you don't ask for what you want or need, how can anyone help you get it?!


•  Tell Yourself YES I CAN! - I know, this is the hardest part of all of these points to master, however, it truly is the key to unlocking your own success... There is a whole philosophy around the power of manifesting your goals, that I'd love to share with you if you're truly interested in hearing how it works. In the meantime, I'm asking that you trust me when I tell you that belief in yourself is the key to getting people to stand up and take notice of you.

I'm writing this because as I go out into the world, and listen to people complaining at the table next to me in the coffee shop, hearing the stories about how people are being terrorized in their corporate office, and the countless other stories of people knocking each other down, I'm on a mission to continuously raise those I love and support up!... that means ALL OF YOU!!! Because I realize the power of my own words, I'm teaching thousands, millions to embrace the power within you.

Be kind, and uplifting to yourself today!!! xoxox :)

The Keys to Being Hot

I'm asked quite often how I got to be so cute... And then my usual response is "if you only knew how much I used to think I was $h!tty it would blow your mind".

HOWEVER,

The road to getting there was hard, I shed litres of tears, and had years of battles with my own self-doubt.

IT WAS SOOO WORTH IT!

I'll share with you some of my very simple (and did I mention FREE or affordable) rules that I used to literally turn back the hands of time for my physical self-beauty, and make my self-confidence literally unshakeable (well, some hours of shaking happen here and there, but that's a part of life!) confidence:

• Love Yourself Unconditionally - That's right, love the bumps, scars, cellulite, bad hair days, whatever makes you human. Until YOU accept yourself fully, how can anyone else?!
• Tell Yourself How Awesome You Are - Yes, I tell myself every single morning that I'm the bomb! lol... It's funny and strange at first, but boy oh boy, love then becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy to all the other areas of your life too :). 
• Don't Judge Lest You Be Judged Too - Would you want anyone sizing you up, trying to figure out if you're "worth it"? How about giving people room to be themselves. When people are allowed to be themselves and feel comfortable being who they truly are around you, miracles happen - for them AND for you!
• Feed Yourself the Good Stuff - Read your labels on what you eat... Better yet, eat mainly things that don't need to be packaged - fresh fruits and vegetables! If you can't pronounce it, don't wear it on your skin or put it in your body. Spend a few extra dollars on local and organic so that you save thousands in future medical costs.  

And most of all, don't seek approval from the outside world. Learn to be who you authentically are, as is. Me? I LOVE country music, love being a Linux girl, will stand up for the underdog, and continue to challenge people who make others feel bad... No excuses, no pity-parties, and standing true to my overall purpose on this planet. I'm here to help people HEAL themselves, and also to help HEAL the planet. Because I'm as certain of this purpose as the air that I breathe, I will allow no one to stop me from being who I was born to be.

That's what makes me hot. Confidence is super-sexy.

Remember that all of us - everyone past, present or future - crave two main things in life; love and acknowledgement. When you are a stand in your life for those two things, what can stand in your way?! If you know of some things that prevent this, feel free to comment, so we can dissolve those mountains :). 

No Such Thing as Coincidences (Specially 4 Your Weekend!)

This is what happens when you become high.... ON LIFE!!!! lol :)

Cat Fight Central... NOT! :)

There is this HUGE misconception by men in general that the only way that women know how to be is catty, jealous, and inconsiderate to one another... Also, we fight over men, territory, jobs, work, and just about everything else in life.

NEWS FLASH:

That was the old way... the new way is that we strong women love ourselves first, and this allows us to love other women like true sisters. I know this is true because you can watch Chivon, Karlyn, Candice, Ingrid, and Gwen and countless others of us come out each day and support one another fully. With love, with confidence, and knowing that supporting their beauty only adds to the continuous growth of ourselves!

So this is a quick plea to stop buying into the false images of women. Do not continue to watch "The Bachelor" and believe the lie that all women cat fight, think of themselves only, and are extremely shallow. There are those of us who are open, honest, vulnerable, full of integrity, and (this is the kicker) have taught ourselves not to gossip!!! Too unbelievable? Watch an episode of our show, Hot N Holistic and see for yourself. :)

Why Do We Always Fight?

I have many of my clients who tell me they're always arguing with their partner... They are usually surprised that there are only a few key reasons why this happens. I can trace every incident back to one of these:

• Trying to Fix Someone - many arguments (like the whole toilet seat thing which I will never understand) usually comes from being attached to someone being a certain way... When they don't live up to your expectation, you feel the need to make them be something that you like. Learn to accept people for how they naturally are. It's ok to make suggestions, or point things out that can make them a better person. However, it is not up to us to force that  to happen. The less pressure we give them, the more likely they'll be able to see things for how they are. 


• Turning OUR issues into THEIR issues - We are all mirrors for each other. Sometimes what we see in others is something that we dislike in ourselves. Take a look at what that item is, and see what your true relationship is to that problem. You might just see that the problem is yours, not theirs... Only then, can you find your own solutions to solve things.


• Expectations - No one is perfect. We cannot expect anyone to always be great, happy, perky, and wonderful all the time! All we can do is give  them the space to be authentically who they are, support them, be there for them, and show them love and kindness... The same things we need to always show ourself too! 


• Forgetting What's REALLY Important - is it SO important that we always be right? Is forgetting to do the dishes SO meaningful and significant to our self growth that we are willing spend valuable energy arguing over it for hours? Life is too short to always be fighting small, trivial battles, isn't it?
 

When you feel yourself about to get into an argument - check yourself first! Step back, breathe and ask yourself "Is putting my valuable energy into this worth it?" Or would you rather spend the same amount of energy seeing the good in your partner, or yourself?

With many poor examples of healthy relationships available in the media for what a true, amazing, vibrant one looks like, remember that it is not the only reality. My reality is one where authentic, loving, accepting relationships exist... So that seems to be what I get. I write of that which I see, have, and cultivate myself.

What are you going to choose?