Cat Fight Central... NOT! :)

There is this HUGE misconception by men in general that the only way that women know how to be is catty, jealous, and inconsiderate to one another... Also, we fight over men, territory, jobs, work, and just about everything else in life.

NEWS FLASH:

That was the old way... the new way is that we strong women love ourselves first, and this allows us to love other women like true sisters. I know this is true because you can watch Chivon, Karlyn, Candice, Ingrid, and Gwen and countless others of us come out each day and support one another fully. With love, with confidence, and knowing that supporting their beauty only adds to the continuous growth of ourselves!

So this is a quick plea to stop buying into the false images of women. Do not continue to watch "The Bachelor" and believe the lie that all women cat fight, think of themselves only, and are extremely shallow. There are those of us who are open, honest, vulnerable, full of integrity, and (this is the kicker) have taught ourselves not to gossip!!! Too unbelievable? Watch an episode of our show, Hot N Holistic and see for yourself. :)

Why Do We Always Fight?

I have many of my clients who tell me they're always arguing with their partner... They are usually surprised that there are only a few key reasons why this happens. I can trace every incident back to one of these:

• Trying to Fix Someone - many arguments (like the whole toilet seat thing which I will never understand) usually comes from being attached to someone being a certain way... When they don't live up to your expectation, you feel the need to make them be something that you like. Learn to accept people for how they naturally are. It's ok to make suggestions, or point things out that can make them a better person. However, it is not up to us to force that  to happen. The less pressure we give them, the more likely they'll be able to see things for how they are. 


• Turning OUR issues into THEIR issues - We are all mirrors for each other. Sometimes what we see in others is something that we dislike in ourselves. Take a look at what that item is, and see what your true relationship is to that problem. You might just see that the problem is yours, not theirs... Only then, can you find your own solutions to solve things.


• Expectations - No one is perfect. We cannot expect anyone to always be great, happy, perky, and wonderful all the time! All we can do is give  them the space to be authentically who they are, support them, be there for them, and show them love and kindness... The same things we need to always show ourself too! 


• Forgetting What's REALLY Important - is it SO important that we always be right? Is forgetting to do the dishes SO meaningful and significant to our self growth that we are willing spend valuable energy arguing over it for hours? Life is too short to always be fighting small, trivial battles, isn't it?
 

When you feel yourself about to get into an argument - check yourself first! Step back, breathe and ask yourself "Is putting my valuable energy into this worth it?" Or would you rather spend the same amount of energy seeing the good in your partner, or yourself?

With many poor examples of healthy relationships available in the media for what a true, amazing, vibrant one looks like, remember that it is not the only reality. My reality is one where authentic, loving, accepting relationships exist... So that seems to be what I get. I write of that which I see, have, and cultivate myself.

What are you going to choose?

Capsule #3: How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

Q: I want to start meeting people to date. How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

A's:

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay): My experience: stop looking for one. As soon as I decided that I didn't want to date any women, I met the LOVE of my Life! I didn't noticed at the time but after 12 years together, I can say that it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!

Who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor? :D


From Ryan Coelho (#GameOn): Do what you love and you'll meet people you love! 

From Tash:  Don't be afraid to stop intriguing people on the street (ANYWHERE) and pay them a compliment. Don't be afraid of rejection either. You need no's to make your way towards a yes. Go to places where people who share your interests are. Mostly, stop looking for a partner and start learning how to love yourself. When you truly love yourself, the people who will love you for who you are miraculously find you!

Where are All the Good Single People?

Everyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I'm always doing my best to make sure that my single friends meet each other... Not necessarily to become a couple, but to know that single amazing people DO exist!!! For those of you still waiting for that special someone, here are some SIMPLE and FREE tips to help you start meeting the great single folks!

• Compliment Strangers! - I do this all the time when I'm out with my single friends all the time, so they can see how its done. Approaching someone with a beautiful smile, great fashion sense, and giving them a compliment without expecting anything in return gives the other person have a great moment for their day and boosts your own confidence!


• Get Introduced to Friends of Friends - It is soooo true that great people hang in packs! Arrange for dinner parties and ask your friends (single or coupled) to bring some of their single friends along, and you do the same. 


• Social Media has Gems - I've met some of the most fantastic people online first before I met them in person! Do a search through Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook and any other social media network for people who have the same interests as you do. Strike up a convo in 140 characters or less, and before you know it you've got a new friend!

Lastly, and most importantly - complaining that there are no good people single people out there makes it a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your thoughts do form your life, so in order to have amazing people find you, you have to believe they exist!  I am blessed to call some of the most wonderful people I have ever met close friends, all because I knew I wanted to be surrounded by awesomeness... So that's exactly what the Universe delivered. Here's to believing, knowing and telling yourself that you deserve the very best! xoxo :)

How to Bring Value to your Work

I get asked the question all the time (being  a buzz-creator and social media community builder) how to draw people to you. The answer is always bring value. However, many people do not ever tell you what value means. So here are some ways you can provide it to others:

• Make postings to your various social  media sites that improves the lives of those who read/see/hear it. 


•  Focus on quality over quantity - don't rush to do a "daily post" if it's not coming from the heart; you might as well not do it at all. 


• Be consistent with your branding - for instance, my overall messaging aim is always to make people smile OR think. Before I post anything, I ask myself if will do either (or sometimes when I'm luck, BOTH!). :)


•  Provide only possibilities - I do my best to make sure I write/speak of options and perspectives. I would be insane to think that I alone have the answers all the solutions of the world. Instead, I ask that people to look inside themselves for their answers; I provide them with alternatives at which to view whatever is happening, and THEY choose which action fits their circumstances.

I find it funny that so many "experts" are selling the "how to make a million dollars", "how to become a guru in 30 days", when really all people need is guidance, a mirror, and someone to help them develop new habits.

I look forward to the day when me and my fellow heart-based leaders start showing others new possibilities for living a life full of freedom, wealth, peace and happiness!

Here's the the New World that's a-comin'!  :)

Better Yet : How to Stop Work from Being a Drag!

This needs to be posted again, because I feel now, more than ever, people are missing moments of bliss, as they chase for the "future happiness" they think they are going to get. Happiness is in the NOW, and people know your happy by how you are BEING in the moment.

What you YOU going to choose to BE today? :)

Dose of Delicious - What is wealth?

I was reminded today by a dear friend of mine Sophie Douglass ( also my Sister, health guru, and fellow Natural Goddess!) that wealth is all those things that sometimes we consider cheap and free... And that wealth is truly a state of mind. I know I'm feeling dang wealthy today. Are you? :)

Sending Love and Hugs to all who view the video and/or read this post today and every day!

Capsule #2 : How do you leave someone who's not in love with you?

Q: How do you leave someone who's not in love with you?

A':
From Ryan Coelho (#GameOn): Shift your focus to something else you love and go after it. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." ~ Maya Angelou

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay): Why do you want to leave? Do you only want to love those who love you? If that's so, what extraordinary thing are you doing? Growth happens beyond our comfort zone! Keep walking on your path and learn from those around you. Remember that you need those who support you and that challenge you!

From Bobby Umar (#PoCchat): Start with Love. You can love someone as a human as a spirit as a person deserving of love. Then you can have a better conversation with honesty, humility and without blame. Lastly, make sure it clear what your action plan is and then do it. Ask for support and help and make sure they are getting it too.

Connection Rule 18: "How you say goodbye is just as important as how you say hello"

Connection Rule 151: "Speak the truth gently and hear the truth calmly"

Connection Rule 166: "Resolving conflict well can be done by compromise, give and take, or just letting go"

Connection Rule 193: "Sometimes you win by letting things go" 


From me: If you're able to love yourself first, unconditionally, then you will see that you need no one else to give you love. Once you're able to love YOU, you can then make room in your life for those who love YOU as much as you do! This allows you to also let go of those who cannot reciprocate the love you have to give.

Capsule #1 : How do I let go of perfection?

Let me give you a brief intro for how the "Capsules" work: I will give them a title for a most recent coaching question of mine. In 300 words or less, I will give a tip that will help alleviate, eliminate, or improve the situation that you may be dealing with. As time goes on, I'll get other coach friends of mine to also chime in, so that you can see some quick snippets from other trusted leaders, and choose the one that speaks most to your soul.

Now on to this particular capsule:


Q: How do I let go of perfection?

A: Perfection kills the soul, productivity, creativity, and your ability to be you. Do your best to master your own integrity, and ability to stay true to your word.

In that process, you'll always do your best, choose your words and promises carefully, learn to say no when you need to, and also appreciate a job well done.

Grant yourself kindness when you fail... To ultimately win, you have to fail sometimes anyway :).

Life is Change, and Change is Life!

After the big recent changes in my life, including some really big losses and wins, I had a chance to sit back, and realize that the fun of life is creating! This post is my inaugural post on my new blog... And one that I hope will remind you to enjoy the process of creation, not just the destination.

Here's to dreaming and living big! xoxo :)