I'm Upsetting Who?

I've had so many conversations recently with people who are worried or spending time thinking about others they have upset or made uncomfortable.

Here's some truth for you:

If people DO NOT have the courage to approach you about what you've done, FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

If YOU live your life by making it clear that people can be honest with you - you create the space where they can bring you anything! Therefore, if someone can't deal with healthy conflict - delete delete delete!

Keep in mind that I don't mean delete them from your life. What I mean is minimize  the time you spend with them, because they aren't bringing you value, nor can you bring value to them. 

Here are some quick tips that help you deal with passive-aggressive behavior: 

• The for damn sure ain't thinkin' about you - if someone has gotten huffy and decides to get upset at you without bringing it to you, they're not being authentic to themselves or to you... So why are YOU wasting your precious time and energy worrying about why you've upset them?


• Be about bigger things - when you live your life according to a higher purpose, petty arguments and fights become irrelevant... So you eliminate them from your life, and get on to figuring out how you can be of service to the planet instead (and folks, we need way more people out on this big mission!)


• YOU run this ship! - that's right! When you remember that no one can DO anything TO YOU that YOU don't allow, YOU choose how you handle each and every situation. YOU choose to value yourself so that you have a voice and call out someone who's not treating you as you wish to be treated.  When YOU  know that you're worth the best there is to have in life, YOU NEVER let yourself be a victim in any situation.

Dealing with conflict surely isn't fun... and trust me, with all the work I do, I'm telling you, sometimes it gets real hard. Your palms will get clammy, you'll get pit stains from profuse sweating... However, you'll also get real, authentic results. The vibrancy of life is from getting amazing results.

Hope you remember this the next time someone tries to make you feel guilty. Foggetaboutit! :)

Should Relationships Be Hard Work?

In society we've gotten used to thinking of a relationship being "hard work".

If a relationship involves daily arguing, fighting, especially over minor, insignificant things, is it really worth it?

I'm going to give you another possibility:

A loving, authentic relationship can really be like water; Consistently changing, and nourishing to the mind, body and soul. 

I have been in a loving partnership for over two and a half years, and I can tell you, that it certainly does not feel like work. Don't get me wrong - it doesn't mean we never fight... It just means that when we're feeling discomfort, we don't hide - we get straight to the root of the problem and solve it!!! In the heat of those arguments, the blood gets pumping, and it gets really scary. However, we both know that being authentic, and truthful about what's really happening is the only way to keep our relationship healthy and happy. 

Please don't buy into the stereotypes that tell you that all relationships are hard work. Choose a partner who helps you grow, who you can help to grow, who you truly enjoy the company of, who can make you laugh, who can make you cry tears of joy... And drink in that nourishing soul food :).

If you can relate, or if you can't - please comment! The only way we can change how the world runs is if we can learn to share our stories :).