Rejection as a Blessing?

I had a dear friend teach me an invaluable lesson today.

Being that I'm a lifestyle cheerleader (aka wellness coach), I'm always on the lookout to help people. So today, when my friend came to me with an issue (they always feel as heaviness and sluggishness to my system), after a few minutes of me "coaching" he stopped me.

He told me that he stopped listening. AKA, I was being rejected. 

At first, I thought what most of us think in those moments. 

MAJOR FAIL.

Then God and The Universe had me come to my senses and learn the following lessons:

• Acknowledge the courage - first off, it's not easy to reject someone... EVER. It's also not easy to accept negative feedback with grace. For me to take it, and not go right into attack mode (which I have learned not to do), also takes courage to stop and listen. 


• Move on, in a LOVING way - as soon as I knew he wasn't listening, I realized two things - he was open to moving on, but I also wasn't the one to help! When I usually do my work, I do minimal talking, so for the simple fact that I was doing all the talking, he saw that my work wasn't working! That fact makes neither of us wrong. What I knew is that I wasn't the one to help him, and that there are probably some of my other coach friends who could reach him. 


• Pushing helps NO ONE - I have a purpose, and is to help those who need it, and who can get my work so that they heal. It helps reserve my energy to work with those who fit with me, and the same for him. No one is meant to properly serve everyone. So letting go of those who don't fit allows us to do our work with those who can be helped, and allows us to maximize our successes.


• End all things in gratitude - before the end of our conversation, there was a moment of silence. After which I gave my friend a sincere and heartfelt thank you. Were it not for this interaction, I would not have the lesson that will benefit and improve my work with others. I honour him for being the space through which I received this lesson.

These same steps can be use for any form of rejection we experience in the future (and I say we, as I hope you will try this method out). Whether it's a promotion, date, raise, contest, client, gig, partner, remembering these things from either side of the rejection - the giver or the receiver - can allow you to honour your integrity and leave a relationship in a better state than where it started.

If you try this out, please leave your comments for what the situation was, and the outcomes, so we all can increase our learning! :)

Journal What?

A friend made me realize yesterday that loads of experts sing the praises of journaling, but no one ever explains WHY

I'm going to explain why journaling is so essential to living a vibrant life: 

• It allows you to let go - we walk around with so much crap literally weighing on our physical shoulders that the only way to let it go is to grant it space on paper, so that it can be released from your soul, mind, psyche. Whether you keep it, burn it, it doesn't matter - when you acknowledge it, you can feel the emotions related to the crappy stuff, so you can let it go. 

• You can chart your successes and failures - let's face it, our memory can fail us at times. However, if you write down the successes, on those days when you need them, you can read about it and relive it again when the world tries to tell you that you suck! On the opposite side, when you fail or mess up, write down the lesson you learned, so that when you're faced with a similar situation, you can be reminded about what not to do
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• It's better than escapism! Think about it, YOU now have a document that can track your own personal growth. Imagine it like you being Tolkien and writing your own Lord Of the Rings novel, except you are the Hero/SHEro of your own story. YOU have climbed those mountains. YOU have achieved those accomplishments.... Trust me when I tell you it's better than any soap opera when the story is about YOU.

Try it out for a few weeks, and write down those major wins and fails that you have. For the wins, celebrate! For the fails share your lessons.

How about we share both?

You Got 99 Problems?

You know that stuff they call drama? Does it work for ya? I mean, does it really get you off your butt and taking care of your own life?

Wanna learn how to stop problems from running your life and turning it into one big mess?

• Acknowledge it!!! - to turn your back on a problem and pretend it doesn't exist is like... sweeping up the dust around your house, for weeks and weeks and weeks, shoving it under the mat until it turns into a big ball of mess, having people trip over it, and YOU saying "Lump? What lump?" Admit to yourself, then OTHERS  (whoever you made a mess with) that you messed up. If you don't, you can never rectify the problem.


• CLEAN IT UP!!! - that's right. Don't focus on the problem. Once you've named the problem, come up with tons of solutions! For instance, if you get a flat tire, you don't whine, and sit and moan about how bad the flat tire was. You call your insurance company, a friend to come get you, whatever you need to do to get you out of the mess! The whole point of this action is to get you to a space of ease and resolution so that you can move on with the rest of life.


• Hold yourself and others accountable - when you do find that solution, especially when you're in a situation that involves other people, don't be afraid to ask people to make you stick to your word! Let's say you've promised someone that you'd stop being late for them. If you've held them accountable to keeping you honest, they can be empowered to call you out when you're not holding to your promises! Let them chew you out if you are late, and come up with a new solution that DOES work for the two of you!

It amazes me how so many people watch their friends and family members mess up, and hold their tongue to the messes they are creating. I don't do that. I speak my mind and call out foolishness where others are willing to be silent. I guess that's why I do my work so well eh?

What mess are you willing to clean up today? And be honest. I promise you I won't judge :) ... Oh, and I won't let you sweep that ball of dirt under the rug either!!! lol.