Why am I always labelled as the good "little" girl?
And boy, have I really hammed it up and played into that role. I've over-committed, bitten of WAY more than I can chew, and done soooooo many things that I've had no desire to do in the first place.
Can you relate?
If you can't, then maybe you're a corpse somewhere playing to be alive... lol... totally teasing :).
But on a real note, this reflection has allowed me to come up with some really great things that I'm now committing to use, practice and most importantly , doing my best to master right now and in the future. I cannot go back and change the past, so I'm starting from right here:
I commit to:
- Saying NO more often - especially for those things in life that my gut is telling me to say no to... I'm going to STOP doing things I'm supposed to, and having fear of disappointing people. PERIOD.
- STOP overbooking myself - as much as I love to be busy, having 4 weeks with no break is too much for my own body to withstand. AND, I can't be at my best when I'm tired.
- Be honest about my friendships - this was a hard one for me to come to terms with... For people who I support wholeheartedly, I actually LOVE being a part of their lives and events. For people who I cannot relate to - their lifestyle, their values, their character - I really and truly have no interest in being around. It's not to be mean, it's a hardcore fact. Therefore, I am going to CHOOSE to be FULLY THERE for those for whom I share a reciprocal relationship with - I help them, and they help me to grow as a person.
- Cutting myself some slack when I fail - yes, we all do it. We are each our own worst critic. We cannot change the past, and we CHOOSE what baggage we carry around... I CHOOSE NO BAGGAGE. I will love and accept myself when I fail, and re-commit to being successful, and cleaning up the messes that I make.
Who's with me? :)
I learned the "no" thing! It's what I start with. It seems mean but necessary. Sometimes it's "maybe but probably not." I like that one a lot because it means I'm not jumping on a thing, but maybe it will sink in and feel right. But probably not :)
ReplyDeletelol.... Love that Siue! Thanks soooo much for sharing! :)
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the workplace, I just read a related book on this, "Nice Girls Don't get the Corner Office". It shares some common errors that many women make in the office (and acknowledges the ones that men make), and it's been tremendously helpful to me at least. I've found myself slapping myself in the forehead a few times, in terms of working overtime when unnecessary and saying yes too often. The Solution? Say 'I'd love to help you with so and so, but unfortunately, I'm really swamped right now with ...'
ReplyDeleteRegarding the fear of disappointing, and one that I can relate with, one piece of advice that I found helpful was to actively try disappointing during the course of your day. It turned out that saying 'no' is never as bad as you think, and you may put more pressure on yourself to protect others' feelings than they do.
Love this topic! Thanks for sharing Tash!
Kim! Thank you so much for your comments! Saying "NO!" is so empowering, isn't it? I'm glad I'm in great company, not being the only one who's dealt with this issue. Thanks for the book recommendation as well, will add it to my reading list! xoxo :)
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