Rejection as a Blessing?

I had a dear friend teach me an invaluable lesson today.

Being that I'm a lifestyle cheerleader (aka wellness coach), I'm always on the lookout to help people. So today, when my friend came to me with an issue (they always feel as heaviness and sluggishness to my system), after a few minutes of me "coaching" he stopped me.

He told me that he stopped listening. AKA, I was being rejected. 

At first, I thought what most of us think in those moments. 

MAJOR FAIL.

Then God and The Universe had me come to my senses and learn the following lessons:

• Acknowledge the courage - first off, it's not easy to reject someone... EVER. It's also not easy to accept negative feedback with grace. For me to take it, and not go right into attack mode (which I have learned not to do), also takes courage to stop and listen. 


• Move on, in a LOVING way - as soon as I knew he wasn't listening, I realized two things - he was open to moving on, but I also wasn't the one to help! When I usually do my work, I do minimal talking, so for the simple fact that I was doing all the talking, he saw that my work wasn't working! That fact makes neither of us wrong. What I knew is that I wasn't the one to help him, and that there are probably some of my other coach friends who could reach him. 


• Pushing helps NO ONE - I have a purpose, and is to help those who need it, and who can get my work so that they heal. It helps reserve my energy to work with those who fit with me, and the same for him. No one is meant to properly serve everyone. So letting go of those who don't fit allows us to do our work with those who can be helped, and allows us to maximize our successes.


• End all things in gratitude - before the end of our conversation, there was a moment of silence. After which I gave my friend a sincere and heartfelt thank you. Were it not for this interaction, I would not have the lesson that will benefit and improve my work with others. I honour him for being the space through which I received this lesson.

These same steps can be use for any form of rejection we experience in the future (and I say we, as I hope you will try this method out). Whether it's a promotion, date, raise, contest, client, gig, partner, remembering these things from either side of the rejection - the giver or the receiver - can allow you to honour your integrity and leave a relationship in a better state than where it started.

If you try this out, please leave your comments for what the situation was, and the outcomes, so we all can increase our learning! :)

Find It, or Earn It?

My dear friend, colleague and PR Guru Sandra posted an article today about the world's wealthiest bachelors. Each one has a net worth of at least a few billion dollars. It got me thinking:

Would I rather marry rich, or be with a man who gets rich WHILE we're in a relationship?

I remember my own boyfriend Nawar telling me about the Michelle Obama story , which pretty much states that she's a strong woman who would make sure her man KNEW how powerful HE was, and is.  Whether its a true story or urban legend, it certainly inspired me!

I believe any man, with the right support, encouragement, and strong partner, can become a millionaire/billionaire. I choose to be that strong, empowered woman who consistently helps my may rise to the challenge of conquering the world, with me right there by his side...

What do you choose?

Capsule #4: Dumbing Yourself Down?

Q: I feel like I "dumb myself down" so I don't outshine my partner. What should I do?


A's:

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay):

How high will you fly in Life is determined by the wings of those you surround yourself with.

It all comes down to your standards and what are you willing to settle yourself for.

Instead of "dumbing yourself down" why don't you "lead them up"?

Above all else ask: what would LOVE do?


From Tash: You should never have to lower yourself to anyone else's standards. It means you lack self-love which demands that you always give yourself and others the best!

Be honest with your partner about how you're feeling, as they may not realize what's happening.

YOU make the choice to surround yourself with people who help you rise, and you help them to rise as well. If you can't provide value to others (which you can't if you're lowering your own standards), or others can't provide value to you, how are you ever going to be your best selves?

Capsule #3: How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

Q: I want to start meeting people to date. How do I meet that partner of my dreams?

A's:

From Bruno Coelho (#TheRabbitWay): My experience: stop looking for one. As soon as I decided that I didn't want to date any women, I met the LOVE of my Life! I didn't noticed at the time but after 12 years together, I can say that it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me!

Who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor? :D


From Ryan Coelho (#GameOn): Do what you love and you'll meet people you love! 

From Tash:  Don't be afraid to stop intriguing people on the street (ANYWHERE) and pay them a compliment. Don't be afraid of rejection either. You need no's to make your way towards a yes. Go to places where people who share your interests are. Mostly, stop looking for a partner and start learning how to love yourself. When you truly love yourself, the people who will love you for who you are miraculously find you!